The art of not knowing
Often we are faced with situations that are complex. There’s a problem, but it’s not always clear exactly what the problem is, where it stems from or what other problems it has caused. It’s like looking into a fog—at something you can both see, and not see, at the same time.
Photo by Jakub Kriz on Unsplash
Previously in an article on systems thinking, I noted that you can identify things around you as either parts of a system or outputs of a system. Even when it comes to problems with people… people can be part of a system, their actions are both outputs and inputs that inform a next set of actions.
So what do we do when there is a problem we’re facing, or a challenge we’re approaching, and the path isn’t clear. We know we need to take some actions or make progress somehow, but it isn’t at all clear what the next step should be. I think Mr. Tolle says it best:
“Being at ease of not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you.” —Eckhart Tolle
Being at ease with not knowing, practicing acceptance of the states you’re facing, is the first step in moving into a state of knowing.
Understand that you are only one mind, one vantage point, in an array of systems, interactions, cycles and turbulences that you simply can’t see. Because most complex problems aren’t problems you can point to directly.
Sometimes these problems demand that you are not at ease. Problems like climate change are at the height of complexity and yet there’s no one leverage point, no clear cut action any single individual can take to improve the problem.
In our personal lives, this might look like problems in relationships, failing to get traction on projects we’re working on, or political issues at work or in our community.
It’s easy to allow ourselves to get heated up. Especially with political issues. The fighting spirit in us emerges, but where do we drive our energy? To the problem? To each other? How messy it gets!
In my experience, accepting that I don’t know or can’t know the answers to some things helps me to zoom out.
Attachment to a problem can often be like lasso-ing yourself to the eye of a hurricane and refusing to let go. You get caught up in the middle of a chaotic storm, and can no longer see the world around you—it’s all storm, all chaos, all maelstrom.
Detachment is to untie yourself, to let yourself depart from the eye of the storm. Eventually you float further and further away; and by letting go, you see the body of the storm. You see more of its parts and how it is functioning in the atmosphere. You see the chain reactions occurring, you see the bodies of the ocean and the atmosphere have this relationship that you cannot break. But now you’ve let go of the problem itself, you realize that there are some things you can do on the periphery of the problem space—actions you can take to help reduce harm from the impact of the problem. You can tell people to get out of the way, to batton down the hatches, and let others know the path this problem is likely to take.
Obviously not all problems we face are at the scale of a hurricane, but I reckon we can see patterns of reactions in the world around us that might look or feel a bit like one.
The Buddha spoke of cycles—cycles of behaviour that start with the individual and expand out from there, micro to macro. I think Buddha was the first real systems thinker, the first one to see the feedback loops that we all operate in. That even on the individual level, our bodies and minds operate on loops—similar to computers—our internal processors might get addicted to something whether it’s coffee, cake, alcohol, or even just addicted to being comfortable—and our bodies, like little machines, continuously run and re-run the programs that keep us in those cycles. Sometimes these cycles we’re in lead to suffering.
The solution? Pausing, observing, bringing awareness to ourselves and our environments through meditation.
Although, I don’t necessarily believe you need to sit in lotus position for hours on end to practice the art of detachment—to step back and see more of the context of the problem(s) within or around you. We’re all faced with problems every single day. It could be as simple as trying to ignite our motivation, or as complex as dealing with a political situation. But there are some basic practices and actions we can take to help us zoom out and find points of influence on a problem.
I want to emphasise the “influence” part, because if we get too attached to the idea of “fixing” a problem—of ending it altogether—then that will lead us right back to where we started… into the eye of the storm. Most problems can’t be solved immediately, but they can be influenced or nudged to a better state.
Practice letting go
If you’re finding yourself too close to the center of a problem—either by being in a constantly reactive state to something going on around you, or simply through paying too much attention to one perceived problem—imagine letting go, untying yourself from the eye of the storm, and slowly floating away.
In practice this might look like:
Unplugging for a few days: take a much needed break, get out of town or just turn off your notifications and silence your devices.
Going for long walks without your phone—honestly this does wonders.
Meditation, if that’s your thing—sit, breathe, observe your thoughts and let them go (google “mindfulness meditation” for more guidance).
Literally stop working on the thing—close your docs, put down your tools, put the thing out of sight, out of mind. Don’t let a problem become a sword that you keep throwing yourself onto. You are the driver of your energy and attention, you decide where that energy flows. And sometimes you need to pull back your energy and recalibrate, see the above suggestions.
Go for a walk, again.
Get some sun.
Get into nature—get around some trees or moving bodies of water like a river or the ocean. Listen to the sounds. Really notice the details in the landscape around you.
Embrace a beginner’s mindset
Ask others for their point of view, go broad and get a lot of information as if you’re a journalist trying to figure out the problem from the outside.
Play the idiot for a minute, embrace the fact that even if you’ve been butting your head against a problem for ages it doesn’t mean you have to be the hero that solves it—let others in, let more information in.
Nudge, get feedback, then nudge again
We live in a complex and dynamic world, things are constantly in motion and there’s a lot of noise out there. Once you’ve zoomed out of the problem and re-approached it, you’ll be ready to start testing some solutions. With complex issues, there won’t be a single, silver bullet solution—so don’t think you can fire a single shot and be done with it. It often takes repeated efforts, feedback and iteration to improve the state of things.
Nudging is incredibly effective. In fact it’s the tool that governments, schools, institutions and large brands use to influence our decision making. It’s a fascinating topic, here’s a book, or else google “nudge theory.” Lots of research has been done, and it has been found that nudging—providing small hints by arrangement of choices, or small repeat messaging—can change behaviour at scale. .
If you’re more interested in self-improvement, Atomic Habits contains approaches that include the basics of nudging. Our habits are, afterall, rather complex.
Effective nudging relies on feedback, so pay attention to the feedback you receive if you do attempt to influence a problem—don’t just assume you know what kind of nudge will be effective either with yourself or with others. You want to drive a positive outcome. Often your first ‘nudge’ won’t do the trick, it requires repeating, gathering feedback, and then trying again. A couple of examples:
Example for yourself: Setting your running shoes next to your bed seems like a good nudge to encourage you to get out for a run each morning, but you continuously ignore your own nudge and aren’t making progress on your goal. Figure out another ‘nudge’ you can give yourself—like signing up to running club so that the accountability of showing up acts as a nudge.
Example when working with others: Your team has created and tested a process that is effective, but it’s not a success until others have adopted it. You can nudge others by doing knowledge shares—long form and short form; writing short and informative posts in your team channels (e.g. on Slack, share the message in the channels where it’ll get seen); ask others with more authority to announce it in key meetings, like all-hands; and pick a team or two to work closely with to implement and further test your process. Annoucing something once and then ghosting is the worst thing you can do, you’ll never get traction. Don’t forget that human’s attention span in the workplace is no different than it is outside of the workplace. We’re flooded with information no matter where we go, your job is to create signals in the noise—those signals can multiply, but it will take consistent effort to make it happen.
I hope this article has been helpful to you. What kinds of complex problems are you facing right now? Is there anything that you’ve been pressing against that you might need to take a step back from? It’s not a failure to call back your energy, if your energy isn’t being productive in some area of your life—whether it’s at home, at work or in your community. I mention a lot throughout my articles that our time on this planet is very precious—our time and energy are the most valuable things we’ve all got. Be viciously protective of your time and energy.
I hope these tips will help you move through areas of complexity you might be facing.
Good luck.
If you’ve read this far, thank you. I really appreciate you being here with me.
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